Goodbye Sammy my dear friend,
Moonlight says you will accompany me
for the rest of my journey, and I agree,
I hope in your sleep you dream
fondly of the friend I tried to be

So walk with me as I continue on
I shall remember you always
with love and good thoughts
and regret that I could not be there
to sooth the start of your new journey,
caught up as I am in struggling
to be the man I want to be

I would have whispered to you,
as you drifted off to sleep
farewell and all the best speed
run fast, run far and, run free
until lungs burn and legs tire
then find a breeze blown tree
on a cloud strewn hill
that looks down on me

Know that when I come to my end
I will see you again my friend.
we can run and play pain free
when I am finally done trying
to be the man I think I want to be

Mortoch

4/29/2012

He sat waiting for the bus not thinking of much.
She walked up, sat to wait thinking of to do lists and such.
They made small talk while they waited to make the time pass.
The weather, the world, the government, the price of gas.
Everything and nothing, things they loved and things they hated.
The time indeed did pass along with the bus for which they waited.
The afternoon eventually turned into early night
And still they sat talking in the glow of a nearby street light
Slowly they both began to feel they were perhaps fated to meet.
That more than friendly conversation would be found on this seat.
She reached over and playfully slapped him on the arm,
“Where have you been all my life, please tell me good sir ”
He thought, then motioned to himself, and said softly to her,
“Here, waiting for you to release me from this lonely life,
That has been my existence without you as my wife”.
A small gasp escaped past lips suddenly unable to speak ,
As a single tear slid down her now flushed cheek.
“But we have only just met, you hardly know me
How can you possibly know we are meant to be”,
He took a moment’s pause as his thoughts unfurled
“The second I was born I had only just met the world,
But believe I immediately knew that I loved it here,
The same as I know right now that I love you my dear”

Forty years have passed, and how the time did fly.
she sobs softly as he in somber final chambers lies
He slowly opens his eyes, his last words soft yet clear
“The same as I know right now that I love you my dear”.

Mortoch
11/19/2011

Dianne

She knows me and still she loves me,

She allows me to be that 

which she knows me to be,

and still she loves me.

When I need it she pushes me 

to be that which she knows I can be,

when I myself do not know

and still she loves me.

I can talk to her 

about those things 

no one else can know

and still she loves me.

So when you ask why I love her 

and how I knew we should marry,

I will answer simply and say,

because she loves me. 

Updates From Another World Pt. 4

3/26/2011

The Dance Of Life

The dance of life dips and rises

as the music rises and falls

flows and ebbs

following the notes

set forth by fate

and the amusement

of destiny

Dark Day

Lie in the ruins hiding from life,

refusing to go on in the rat race,

seeking refuge from endless strife

shunning the road of razors

for a moments respite

praying the feet heal

enough to walk it again despite

the weariness that drags on the soul

and rips the spirit like a knife.

Little Boy Lost Redux

Little boy lost, alone and crying

abandoned on a battlefield

because those who should love him

were ashamed to have him at their side.

Screams of anger filling his night

as once again they fight

wondering if this time, maybe

they just might

finally make it forever  night.

For a child to wonder

why they are not loved enough

to be saved from a world gone mad

I think it can be said that without question

nothing could be more sad.

May those who left him to his fate

remember when they need the compassion

to salve their souls in times of strife,

that those stones the boy erected to survive

those long terrifying nights,

will now and forever shelter

them from offers of comfort and respite

from the lost little boy still hiding inside

stabbing blindly about him

at the whispering demons that hide there

and smiling the cold smile of revenge

even as he hates himself for it.

Continued ▼

Musicians and Minstrels

They sing, those angels,

bringing sunshine to the shadows

where the mind hides

when the road of razors

has become to hard to travel

and comfort is needed to

carry the fight to the coming dawn.

They sing and the joy comes

ecstasy at the sound so beautiful

and true that it transports you

to that magical place where

no trouble touches, no sorrow roams

and only bliss is allowed in.

Mesa

Whenever my mind wanders as it likes to do

and comes to light on the remembrance of “Moonlight”

my mind will know joy and fondness for a friend.

My soul will know peace and the warmth of a kind and gentle spirit

My heart will rejoice that I have known you,

that you made me feel so welcome when I needed it so much

and you called me ye ye when I missed my grandchildren

so much I would cry at the thought of them.

And I will remember that I am a better person

simply because I came to know the person

杨震 Yang Zhen

May the peace of the Four Corners

and Love surround you and keep you safe

always and forever.

A.F.A.

Grampa Tim 

4/2/2011

Aliens

Do I believe in aliens? Yes I do, mathematics alone will tell you it must be true.

"Then why haven't they made themselves known to us", you may ask.

I will answer that with a question of my own.

Imagine you are on a boat in the middle of the ocean. You look over the edge into the water and see 1000 sharks in the midst of a flat out, balls to the wall feeding frenzy. They are not only eating other types of fish but also turning on their own kind and indiscriminately butchering them. Not out of hunger or defensive need, but because the other sharks are colored differently, or maybe just for the sheer joy of butchering.

Would you then decide to go swimming and try and pet some of these sharks, try to tame them or become their friends, or would you find you wishing fervently that your boat was much larger and faster that you might more easily reach the relative safety of dry land?
It is becoming impossible to comprehend the depths to which our insanity has gone. Some insane, back hills, asshole preacher in our country which was founded on the absolute right of religious freedom decides he has the right to pass a judgment on the religious book of another religion, (even though the chances are huge that he cannot read a single word of the whole book), and burn it. So in answer a bunch of insane followers of that other religion decide that they must run out and butcher a bunch of people who had absolutely nothing to do with the act of burning their book.

We butcher each other for color, religion, bags of powder, bags of dried weeds, pretty colored rocks, or just because you are standing where I would like to stand. There is no reason to small or to large that it cannot be murdered for, no slight to slight that it cannot invite homicidal consequences. Yet we have the balls to hold ourselves up over all other creatures and marvel at our own greatness.
We have completely lost our minds when a mindless spray tanned semi-illiterate loud mouth little twerp can command a larger speaking fee from Rutgers university than a Nobel winning author to deliver the up coming commencement address.

The next time you find yourself wondering why aliens have never stopped by for tea read the freaking news and ask yourself if you would.

Mortoch

4/2/2011

Updates From Another World Pt. 3

1/25/2011

The Circle

Mortoch The Hobbit

Liberos meos insanum amo. 

Summer wanders thru

green grass covered meadows,

pausing to admire it's frothy brethren,

sailing ships, pirates, and animals of every kind,

racing endlessly across sun filled heights

to the horizons never reached.

Summer ages into Fall,

leaves changing to colors beautiful to behold

sunburst oranges, reds, and flame lit golds,

before they slide gently to the arms

of the mother earth as she

welcomes them home, with tears of joy.

Fall dodders to winter

knowing the end comes near,

the cold grasp of finality looms,

and with it inescapable fear

of the nothingness that is to come,

hope held in the promise of spring.

Spring screams forth

from the death of winter,

crying tears of joy to be free from

the soul searing cold tomb of winter

we welcome the newly reborn to our bosoms

with mind numbing tear drenched ecstasy.

2/13/2011

Dianne

She knows me and still she loves me,

She allows me to be that

which she knows me to be,

and still she loves me.

When I need it she pushes me

to be that which she knows I can be,

when I myself do not know

and still she loves me.

I can talk to her

about those things

no one else can know

and still she loves me.

So when you ask why I love her

and how I knew we should marry,

I will answer simply and say,

because she loves me.

Introspection

I stare into the face of the enlightened

I wonder, nay, I scream from my depths

what do you know, how do you know it

and why won't you share with me

those secrets that will set me free.

Free from the demons that haunt

and taunt, jeer and torment my mind

with questions that have no answers.

Why am I here? Where am I going?

Will I return? WHY CAN”T I KNOW?

Damnation, if I fail to reason the right answers

from claimed guidance where none exists,

benevolence shouted from pulpits,

mixed with threats of horrible violence

mixed with promises of wonderful bliss.

Give HIM all your money while

trusting HE will not let you fall,

ignore the fallen you see around you,

those down trodden masses are not of HIM,

though HE claims all creatures great and small.

I wish to know how HE

can claim everything when WE

who are HIS image need HER

to create anything that can last

until the earth no longer exists.

All that I seek is the peace

that comes from understanding

the meaning of it all that I might

have my face shine with the calmness

and freedom of all those faces on all those the walls.

Mortoch

3/12/2011

 

Run Free Ozzie (R.I.P.) 1/21/2011

Run Free Ozzie

Run through tangled jack strawed trees
following the scent covering the fallen leaves.
Bark, howl, yelp, and yip
 screaming your joy for the heavens to hear.

No longer will you be told to hush, be quiet, or shut up,
fields will be long and full of the game.
You can run till your tired
and when ready run some more.

I will miss you and tears make the typing hard
you loved so easily and gave it no matter what,
that big loopy grin and long floppy ears,
I will picture them fondly for the rest of my years

Enjoy now your rest, you have earned it all
the road of razors is no longer your path,
just sweet fields and cool water in which to splash
Run free dear girl.
 Run Far, Run Fast, Run Free.

Updates From Another World Pt. 2

Big Dog

You’re only a dog,

But I do so envy you,

Your life of endless eating,

Shitting, pissing and sleeping.

I am so tired of working,

Breathing and keeping

The faith that better days

Will come and life will turn

and come around my way.

I wonder, big dog,

Would you be king for a day?

The master is weary of his crown,

and wishes to simply lie down

letting the sun warm his bones.

All I have is yours to own

If I can but sit and howl

at the moon on high

 As for a moment

from my life I hide.

Excerpt from the Chronicles of Mortoch the Hobbit

I met a man in a park one day, he sat, head bowed, in somber contemplation.

I spoke of the weather and those small things that people say to pass the time.

He listened quietly, saying not a word.

Fearing I was being a bother, I started to take my leave.

In a whisper almost to soft to grasp, he apologized for being rude,

“It is just that I am listening, trying to hear the sound of my love drawing near.”

“Oh', I said, 'is she to meet you here?”

“Eventually” was his only reply.

Now curious I inquired what did he mean.

He turned his face to me then, and I saw eyes that held no life,

in a face carved deep with pain and covered with shining tracks

of the tears that still pooled in his saddened eyes.

He slowly began to speak, and a story he told

that touched me so deep I shall remember it until I remember no more.

This then is his story, I tell it to you that you may know of a love so deep that the stars in the sky whisper the legend of  its depth and purity.

Please enjoy and feel free to cry, as I did when he told it to me and even now as I tell it to you.

The story of Gavin The Lost

As told to Mortoch the Hobbit

“I stood confident in my youth, basking in hope, that hope that only youth can know.

Filled with quiet contentment at the course that was set, secure in the knowledge of tomorrow”.

“Then one day by chance I happen to meet the most true and honest beauty that I have ever known.

The world stopped and with it time. I could not breathe, nor speak, or even think.

My ears drank in the sparkling joy of her laughter though barely could I hear over the thunderous rush

of my heart pounding in my head.

She turned to me, her eyes like diamonds rolling softly in the sun, smiling a smile that held no lies or vanity, and my heart leaped from my chest racing headlong up to the sky.

She spoke to me words I can never remember for I could not force my mind from her.

I was lost in her perfect soul and spirit wondering what I had done to deserve the chance to be in the same universe as this person whom I loved from that first second that went on forever and will love until forever ends.”

We would speak for hours it seemed about things to many to count and sometimes not talk at all for there was no need. I found myself laughing from the sheer thrill of be in the presence of her perfection.

“Time had no meaning then and I cannot say how long it was before the day that I heard a sound and turn to see it's cause. When I turned back the world had turned dark for she was gone with no trace.

I screamed in panic and spun to the four corners trying desperately to glimpse her face.”

“Come back” I cried, tears flowing from eyes blinded with fear.

“Come back! I need you, where have you gone?!

“PLEASE, COME BACK, you take with you my heart and soul”.

“PLEASE!!” I screamed.

“please”, I whispered.”

“Please come back to me', I sobbed “.

“My pleas piled uselessly at my feet, in a pool of my tears, for as they flew forth they found no ears to meet and fill with the sounds of my grief.

My mind left me then, flying away to find her, to beg her forgiveness for whatever I needed to be forgiven of that she might return and make me whole again. I wandered aimlessly, lost in a gray soulless place, praying for my love to return.

Forever came, went, and came again but still she did not come back to me.”

“Then came those whispered, terrible words, that ripped my very being to pieces and crushed all hope from me.”

“She is gone.”

“Gone? What do you mean gone?”

“She is gone, it was a terrible thing and she is gone to that place no living heart can go”

“She was gone,

She was gone,

she was gone,

she was gone.”

Prologue:

As he repeated those three words his voice faded again to a whisper

he turned to me and said, “That is why I sit and wait for the sound of her drawing near.

Praying as I do that she comes to fetch me to her that I may again know her and bask in the truest beauty I has ever known.”

A Millage of Updates From Another World

These updates are from my father(Mortoch).  They range from correspondence between myself and him to thoughts on life and some of its atrocities.  I am posting these for him since he is unable to while he is in China.
Please Enjoy.
Deebo
----------------------------------------
Hey Buddy:
Had me a great day today, walked out to Hongqaio Pearl City, about 2miles away. Those people are just down right fun. I bought a pair of binoculars, guy wanted 400Y(roughly 60US), walked away with them for 200 even(30US). Bought a back pack for riding the bike, she started at 380Y(57US), she settled for 175Y(26US). Got a set of Bose headphones, she started at 280Y(42US) but settled for 180Y(27US) and I threw in 5Y just cause she made it so much fun. Then walked back to Carrefor Street (about a 1.5 miles) and down to HongQaio street (about 1.5miles) all the way to Gubei (2 miles) and back home (about 2 miles). Why didn't I take the bike? Still waiting until my shoulder will bear weight before I ride that far. :-) I had a ball, I was walking around in Pearl City grinning like a special kid with his hands in his drawers, I was just this side of laughing.
Had To Share
Love, Dad
PS, I found music YEEHAW, I can get Songza here and they have improved immensely. I am listening to Tears In Heaven by Eric Clapton done by a Gregorian Chant choir, straight outstanding. My station is called Mortochs if you want to check it out. Now I've got Sevendust, Beautiful ripping up the Bose headphones, the only thing stopping this from being freaking perfect is my proximity to those I love more than words can describe.
Love Dad
-----------------------------------------
Hi Son,
Hope all is well and you are achieving some peace. I am slowly, though the nature of the last two blog updates may belie that. I have been attending a non denominational church here. I do not believe the words but I believe I am in the first church in my life where all the people are there because they want to be not because they think it makes them better than everyone else. I am trying to find a Buddhist temple somewhere close as I would like to check that out. All I know is that there are over 60 nationalities in that church and I don't care what they believe because I feel better after I leave. Not sure how long I will keep going if that feeling wears off but will cross that when it comes.
Love You
Dad
----------------------------------------

"I am vindicated and verified
Lies I have know I now know
I was not loved
Least enough to fight for
Left lost and alone on the battlefield crying because
I was an embarrassment
A secret to be held in the dark
Lest people they know judge them less than their own self worth
I will go on better with the knowledge that that which did not break me made me stronger

Love to my children and theirs"

-------------------------------------------------------------

    "There maybe someone that reads this that feels the last update was very brutal and possibly even bordering on psychotic. Maybe the man was molested as a child and this what caused him to turn out this way. So by that reasoning if he had been poked in the eye as a child he should be compelled to walk the earth jamming his fingers in to the eyes of others.

     These scum always roll out the same tripe when they are found out, “It was done to me as a child” as a reason for their behavior. As if any reasoning could explain the destruction of a young child. What blows my mind is weepy eyed idiots who fall into line behind that crap. “He doesn't need prison, he needs help, he has a sickness.” Bullshit, he needs to die as horribly as the the things he inflicted on the children he has doomed to a life of pain and anger.

     The only people who can possibly imagine otherwise have never “danced with the devil in the pale moonlight” and will never understand until they do. And as for the bottom feeding, soulless, money grubbing clown lawyers that defend them and try to get them off, They get the stake next to their clients. What really puts a knuckle forcefully into the top of my head is that a strong majority of these people seem to be ultra religious which is another shining example of the human animal taking a perfectly beautiful concept and perverting it into a tragedy beyond all comprehension.

     Lets see, “Do onto others as you would have done onto you”, “Love thy neighbor as thyself”, If thy neighbor smites thy on thy cheek, offer to him your other cheek”, Rape babies and torture them in ways to terrible to describe.

Which one of those freaking statements doesn’t fit in the group? If you have any trouble deciding do the world a favor, shoot yourself in the head and try not to screw it up."

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